Sunday, December 26, 2010

Challenge 4: The Sale

Have I mentioned before that I hate shopping? (And ker-bam! Half of my female readers leave.)

It's true; I do. If pressed to describe why, I'd say it's a cross between the mathematical odds of finding something you a) like, b) can afford, and c) look good in, and the fact that you have to deal with Other People in the form of traffic, parking, aisle-blocking, indirect wandering, noisy conversations, buskers, and on and on and on it goes. Have you ever watched C.S.I. and marvelled at the fact that, had someone not turned their head at exactly the right moment to see the bullet hole on the corner of the car fender as it disappeared into the baker's neighbour's secret underground car-park that they had previously thought was merely a shed used by local children for vegetable-growing experiments except for that time that little Sarah disappeared in there for eight days before being re-discovered by a passing Jesuit priest and only then because he was taking his sick mother's Pomeranian for a walk and it heard the dog whistle that little Sarah found under one of the ammunition benches but whose function has never really been explained, the crime would not have been solved? Well, that's the way I feel about shopping*.

So my challenge is to survive today's Boxing Day sales. As I type this, I am aware that this could be my final blog post. My arms may be torn off and used as battering tools by women in the GHD hair straightener section. It's possible I will wander between several dozen tweens and a Justin Bieber CD rack. Most likely, I will merely be crushed into a freezer in an unfortunate whitegoods-related incident.

For those about to shop, I salute you. It's been an honour.

* i.e. The odds of it working out successfully are both minuscule and not without unnecessarily convoluted circumstances.


  1. Hey Miss Ruby, you are one of those rare people who can spell minuscule correctly.

    Yeah, I hate shopping too. Especially sales time. The more you spend the more you save, I'm told. Well, try spending nothing and see how much you save. Then compare the savings. I'm no economist, but ...

    Ok, I did buy a pair of shoes on special. They are designed to improve my income.


  2. Spelling is one of my few talents; sadly, it's not been enough to base a career on. Yet.

    I'm intrigued by your income-improving shoes. Do they come with an in-built metal detector? Because *that's* a market that has not yet been explored. "Why just go to the beach... when you can also find PIRATE TREASURE?"

  3. All my sisters and I are lacking the shopping gene but you wouldn't think so if you looked at us. Shopping is soooo overrated. We go into stores and buy what we need and get the hell out of there quick smart. I was recently invited to Melbourne (our shopping capital in Australia) to spend the weekend shopping with my girlfriends but I declined as I'd much prefer to be tortured watching re-runs of Days of Our Lives