Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Ides of December

I bought a calendar. Sounds like nothing, right? You don't understand: I have never bought a calendar prior to the end of the year before. Normally, I go, "Hmmm... $26? I know! I'll wait until January or February when they're on sale and buy one cheap." Every year I have done that. And every year I have ended up with a crap calendar. Cats on Toilets. Factories of Interest. The Wheat Industry of Iowa. And let's not forget last year's effort, Sexy Oily Librarians. "Three of your favourite things, now in the one place!" Great tag line, though clearly untrue; I do not think their target demographic involved people who read. Regardless, my calendars have been so crap that I've had to hide them in cupboard. Which generally defeats the point of having a calendar because then I neither write stuff on them nor remember to look at them. Yeah.

Anyway. The point is I have purchased a calendar in fit of rare organisation so I can mark off the days until Siobhan's wedding. Yes, I'm already counting down. To the day after it, so the whole goddamned debacle will be over. It has been a mere six weeks since it was announced - and the Blessed Event itself isn't even until, like, November, I think - but already I've been shoehorned into more potential bridesmaid dresses than the cast of Priscilla: Queen of The Desert. In addition, Siobhan has suggested (i.e. told me) that I need to grow my hair longer and invest in a straightener. And take up Pilates. And get a better job. (I'm working on the last one. And only the last one. More on that later)

But it's OK. Because I've found her the perfect engagement present. This. Up yours, Siobhan!

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