Sunday, May 23, 2010

So much vanilla, so little time

My parents are trying to set me up. OK - the current romantic situation is looking kind of dire (and confusing) but I do not need to have potential suitors paraded in front of me like I'm shopping for the right size. Particularly when they're Josh. Oh, Joooooosh. Let me tell you about Josh. Josh has no personality. Josh makes cardboard seem lively. Josh is often mistaken for his own wax figure. If you set Josh on fire, I can guarantee you would hear very little from him in protest; he would simply go about fire-extinguishing himself, and then resume beaming at you silently like a snowman that refuses to melt. For Christ's sake, Ma and Pa, if you're going to humiliate your daughter socially, at least do it with someone with whom she can have a lively argument at some point.

I forgot to mention that the Doctor has returned, in disgrace. I promised him I wouldn't mention what he smelt like when we were reunited. But even Josh would have slightly wrinkled his nose in response.

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